M Train

have you read Patti Smith's "M Train"? it is my new favorite book! there are so many passages in it that i love and wish i could have written them. her writing is so poetic and really resonates with me. here are some passages that i just can't get over:

"I believe in movement. I believe in that lighthearted balloon, the world. I believe in midnight and the hour of noon. But what else do I believe in? Sometimes everything. Sometimes nothing. It fluctuates like light flitting over a pond. I believe in life, which one day each of us shall lose. When we are young we think we won't, that we are different. As a child I thought I would never grow up, that I could will it so. And then I realized, quite recently, that I had crossed some line, unconsciously cloaked in the truth of my chronology. How did we get so damn old? I say to my joints, my iron-colored hair."

"it fluctuates like light flitting over a pond", "unconsciously cloaked in the truth of my chronology" - !!!! such beautiful images! oh, i felt like i could live on these words forever.

"Home is a desk. The amalgamation of a dream. Home is the cats, my books, and my work never done. All the lost things that may one day call to me, the faces of my children who will one day call to me. Maybe we can't draw flesh from reverie nor retrieve a dusty spur, but we can gather the dream itself and bring it back uniquely whole."

"the amalgamation of a dream" - i really wish i could have written that!

ok, enough of me drooling over Patti Smith's words! go and get "M Train". read it and tell me what you thought of it!

New work

i wanted to tell you a little bit about the two most recent works up in my portfolio on Saatchi Art:

the first one is Beginnings.  i've always been fascinated by the way a woman's body changes during pregnancy.  there's something quite amazing about growing a new life inside oneself.  i don't think there's anything else quite like it.  but it is also an extremely grounding experience, that ties a woman to the experiences of so many other women around her and who have come before us.  it takes a leap of faith, believing in your own body's ability to do this amazing feat.

the following quote also captures the feeling i had as i was working on Beginnings:

Allow your judgments their own silent, undisturbed development, which like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be forced or hastened.  Everything is gestation and then birthing.  To let each impression and each embryo of a feeling come to completion, entirely in itself, in the dark, in the unsayable, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one's own understanding, and with deep humility and patience to wait for the hour when a new clarity is born: this alone is what it means to live as an artist: in understanding as in creating.

Letters To a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke


the next piece, Home, seems a little more complicated to talk about.  i've talked about the feeling of homelessness before on the blog and i've tried to express that visually in this one.  moving from place to place, across borders, oceans and continents since i was six years old, leaves me with two opposing desires: the longing for adventure and the longing to avoid the pain of uprooting.  there is no sense of a physical home, only a home that i carry within me, a spiral home within which i can curl up while the tide carries me to another adventure.

and a third work that i completed recently, is Waiting.  unfortunately, i have no photos of it to show you. :(  it will be up for bids at New Morning Nursery School's silent auction this weekend to raise money for the preschool.  i forgot to take a picture of it before i dropped it off, otherwise i could give a preview of it.  for my friends planning to attend the auction, i just wanted to let you know that it will be there.

Some new works

now that the kids are back at school, i am finding some time to begin working again.  i am starting something new in both my writing and my art, so that's exciting.  it's always fun to explore, to begin a new journey.  although, the theme i am obsessing over right now is nothing new.  i think about it all the time.  it's been a part of me from a very early age.  it is the idea of home.  i wrote an earlier post about this and you can find it here.

the word "home" conjures up so many emotions, images and meanings.  how do you define "home"?  what is your "home"?  is it a physical location that has always existed in your lifetime?  

i obsess over the word because i feel rather conflicted about it.  to me, "home" connotes something permanent.  i always feel i should have a place to call home, just like most people.  but instead, my home is where i am.  there is never any home to "return" to.  and so the identification with the nautilus who travels with its home, rather than the sea turtle who returns home to lay her eggs.


Thoughts about "home" and new work in progress

first off, welcome to my new readers who were introduced to my work through Mystery To Me!  thank you for visiting and i hope you'll continue to return. for those of you who haven't visited Mystery To Me yet, please do!  the bookstore has opened to a great start and i hope you will support this new local business.  there are not only adult books, but many children and young adult books as well, so please stop by.

i also have some new projects that are in the works - will share more about them next week!! 

it's that time of the year when i have to say goodbye to friends moving out of town and anticipate changes in the neighborhood when i see "for sale" signs going up.  i live in a town where there are constant shifts and changes, usually related to work. i have done a fair amount of moving in my life and lately, i have been thinking about certain images that speak to me about my idea of home.  i have called three different continents home. the longest i have lived in one city was 11 years and that city would be Nairobi.  i have lived in the US the longest, but have moved from city to city.

what is home? i know what home is not: it is not a physical place where i was born.  i was born in Seoul, South Korea, but i feel like a foreigner when i'm there.  i feel that the word home should mean a place of comfort, a place where i am accepted the way i am, where i can be myself.

i think about sea turtles, how after decades of travelling oceans, always return to their place of birth to lay their eggs. how do they know? is it some imprinting of geographic location that beckons them when they are ready to lay their eggs? 

i'm more like the nautilus than a sea turtle.  i carry my home with me.  routines and familiar faces are tenuous and constantly shifting. houses are bought and sold, cities come and go.  relationships span the globe.  i love the image of the nautilus, in its beautiful shell, swimming about the ocean, traveling here and there.

i don't have photos of the works i have in progress right now, but i wanted to share with you that they are based on this idea of home. what are your ideas of home?